Losing a friend is an absolute loss?

Assalamua'laikum & Happy February. May this month, Allah SWT grant all of us a great lesson and experience in the development of our better character inshaAllah. Yesterday, I make a poll on Instagram and mostly want me to write about friendship. But, I will still review the book ok no worries. InshaAllah in this week as well.

Let start with defining the word friend, where via google it is defined as a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relation. Mutual affection here means they love each other as a friend. They care about each other. However, in contrast to our expectation and hope, this relationship might not last long. One of these people might go or we are the one who left.  Before I start rambling and all, the disclaimer is, whatever I am about to write afterwards are purely my personal opinion, You might have your own opinion and you are free to accept or reject my point of view.

Losing is one of the mandatory events in the life cycle. We meet people, acknowledge them, getting closer, get into arguments and then the last moment we spare with them will always be the separation chapter. The separation may be via death or they leave us to be with someone whom they claim will be of a better friend than us. This is normal, to lose someone or something is not a rare occasion. It happened to everyone.

I believe that losing someone or something will be beneficial to us in some way even though it might hurt us. I want everyone to realise and keep it in their mind that regardless of how bad the events or circumstances, Allah SWT is trying to give the message or reminder to us upon something. Losing a friend is a loss, but not an absolute loss because it comes with lesson and purposes.

It is our duty to try to look for the meaning or purposes of every event that occurred in our life. Teach ourself to start with finding the meaning or purposes of the smallest event. For example, I have a friend who is not coming from a wealthy family and she needs to save and spend a little amount of money in order to not put any more burden on her family. She makes a limitation on how much she need to spend for a week and if she had gone beyond the limit, she will be fasting. There the purposes are. Indirectly and unknowingly, in that event of hardship, Allah led her to make a beneficial 'ibadah. What lies within her heart is not for us to judge.

Losing a friend is not an absolute loss.

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We might lose a good or bad person as our friend, both leaving us are nothing to compare than Allah SWT not recognising us. Losing a human's love and affection shall not affect our daily ibadah/activity. The pure loss is when we lose the love of Allah SWT when Allah is Ar-Rahman wa Ar-Rahim.

However, I would also say that when we choose a friend who comforts us with lie over a friend who hurt us with the truth, that is when we avoid profit. We throw away those who were sincere and trustworthy and choose to stay with those who tell lie. A good friend speaks the truth and did not conquer our life such as to put a limitation on which person we shall go out to and which are not.

Since Allah SWT knows what we do not know and everything happened with permission of Allah SWT, trust His plan! The continuation of befriending with that someone might bring harm than good to us to that person or to both of us. Therefore, losing a friend is not a loss.

In order to stop my today's writing, I would like to share my last point of view. This one is applicable to any kind of relationship where I believe that we met and lose someone with reason. The relationship with our family or partner or friend taught us something. Instead of looking for their mistake and blame their act of leaving, we better take a proper look of the lesson. I always have this thought that we are wasting our time looking for their mistake, being sarcastic and convey harsh words to them when we actually can use that time to take the lesson and become better. Why waste our time for someone who did not care? We shall take care of ourself and focus on the development of our character, akhlak, mind, ibadah, intention and act.

In conclusion, to those who left, thank you for every moment and lessons.